Today is my daughter's first day of kindergarten. Some call me overly emotional but most can probably relate to the emotions that go along with sending your child (in my case, the first and only child) off to school for the very first time. As a way to deal with those emotions, I penned an open letter to Gracie for her to read years to come. It goes like this:
There you go. A day that to you is full of excitement and fresh starts. A day that to me is full of fear and bittersweet uncertainties. There you go, walking away from Daddy and me with an innocence in your eyes that resonates so proudly. You walk with a stride that gives me pride and comfort in knowing that you look forward to and welcome all that your future holds.
It is this moment that, through clenched teeth and intense prayers, I entrust the single most precious thing in my entire world into the hands of those who promise to educate and mold you into a professional young lady.
As you walk away, I pray for you. I pray that you hold on to the kind hearted young girl you were as you prayed over an injured friend at the playground. I pray that you never lose sight of all the beauty that surrounds you in spite of all the evil in this world, for it is that Godly beauty you will need that gives you the hope and perseverance to keep on keeping on when the going gets tough. I pray that you continue to find peace and comfort in my arms in times of sadness because Baby, you are going to have heartbreaks. You are going to have people come into your life who will hurt you and some may even do it on purpose. I pray that I have done my job so far as a mother to have instilled in you a sense of determination to be able to get right back up, scars and all, and continue towards your destination. I pray that no one will ever replace me as the smartest woman you have ever known. I may not always have all the answers but our Father always does. I pray that you form relationships that will last into your adult life, such as I have been blessed in my friendships. But most of all, I pray that the shining light you have in your heart for Jesus will never be dimmed by the darkness that continues to multiply in this evil and dangerous world that you are growing up in.
Continue to embrace each day with the sense of adventure that it brings, no matter how big or small. There will be people come into your life that will try to slow that stride of confidance and joy that you so happily possess. No matter what, never let them. There are times to be serious but don't take yourself too serious. If you do, in time you will find that somewhere along the way, you stopped having fun. You're going to learn more than I could ever dream of through your school years, some of which you may forget. Just don't ever forget that God has the reins. You're just along for the ride. Make that ride a beautiful one baby girl.
And years from now when you open this letter, I hope you read it with tears, smiles and wisdoms of your own and still be able to say that your mama always was the smartest woman you've ever known. Now go and enjoy the rides and adventures that await you.
With all my love,
Mommy (because on 08/25/14, that's what you still called me)
