Losing it to Kili!

So I'm getting ready for bed last night and head over to our bookcase for a quick read. Looking for some inspiration in the journey I am about to officially embark on, my eyes fall on "Chicken Soup to Inspire the Body and Soul." I read about a doctor who's breast cancer had spread all over her body but she defied all odds by going on to race six Ironman triathlons and 67 marathons. I read about Michael Jordan and one particular game in which he was deathly sick yet persevered and went on to win the game for the Bulls. Now, like I said, I'm ready for bed and after these 2 stories, my "soup" bowl is full and I'm ready to see the back of my eyelids so I log these stories into my mind to refer to when the going gets tough and drift off to sleep in record time.

Now, let me introduce myself and fill you in on exactly what the above was about and why I even mentioned it. I am a 31 year old wife to an amazing husband and mother to a 5 year old precious baby girl.

We are very rooted in our faith, though I always strive to be a better Christian mother and wife.


My husband and I are very different but it makes for a thriving marriage. It just works for us. He likes doing things around the house. I like doing things as far away from the house as possible. In other words, I YEARN to travel. Him...not so much.        


But anyway, I'm getting off subject here, I can honestly say I'm in love with my life. For a long time, I looked at the definition of success for me by how much money I made or intended to be making, what I did for a living, the kind of car I was driving and the brand of clothes I was wearing. I strove towards becoming an architect for more reasons than the money but let's be honest here, the money I DID find very attractive. But God intervened and led me down the path I'm now on and I couldn't imagine myself any happier. I may not make the kind of money I dreamed I would be making at this point in my life or be living in that luxury high rise condo in downtown Charlotte, NC that I had my eyes on but I DO live down a little slice of heaven country road in a home we can call our own with a family I can call my own and a job I absolutely love and do not dread going to every morning. That's my success story.

However, somewhere along the way, I lost all desire to concentrate on myself. I let myself fall into that trap of spending so much time focusing on everyone and everything around me and making sure everyone else was happy that I completely lost focus on keeping myself healthy. As a result, my weight topped the scales in early 2013. Now, may I add that I am a huge comfort eater and during the entire year of 2013, it seemed our family was being attacked with one punch right after another. We were blessed last year to finally achieve our dream of buying our own home but it seemed that as soon as we closed on the house, the devil instantly started attacking us from every angle possible, from our marriage to our finances to a very unexpected death in the family. In May, my otherwise fairly healthy mother and best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. In September, our daughter, Gracie, had a health scare that resulted in an overnight hospital stay (that also resulted in a ludicrous bill....$5000 to lay in your hospital bed for a mere 8 or so hours!!!!). So little old me, who has never had to handle blow after blow like this over such a short time frame, resorted to finding comfort in food. And by food, I mean ALOT of it. I tried to squash my fears, nerves and everything else I was feeling with anything that had a calorie count above what would be considered healthy. All the while, I kept a smile on my face and let everyone believe that everything was alright, when really I was crumbling inside. Oh gosh, it was just horrible. Trust me on that! This was all over the course of 9 months so by December of last year, I had let myself climb to a borderline dangerous weight. Before you judge, don't think this is a pity party because it's not. I'm just being real and laying it out there.


There were 2 separate incidents that occurred towards the end of December that became the turning point for me. The first was a doctor's visit. A few months prior (mid September) I had been diagnosed with hypothyroidism, a condition which among other things makes it harder to lose weight. At the time, I thought to myself, Yay! An excuse for why I can't lose weight, when in reality, I was doing anything BUT trying. But at the visit in December, my doctor warned me of my cholesterol level being too high for my age. He basically told me in a nice way that if I didn't get rid of fat girl, I'd be looking at major health problems down the road, including diabetes. The other turning point came when we were getting ready for church one Sunday morning and Gracie, who in all of her beautiful little innocent glory, asked me if I was going to have a baby and she was going to get a brother or a sister. I thought, OH MY GOSH! It's happened. The moment I've been praying wouldn't come. The moment when even my 5 year old recognizes that Mommy is bigger than a school bus! I doubt she thought that exactly, but you get what I'm saying. 

So there I was. Here I am. Here I go. It was on Wednesday, January 15 that I decided to make the change of a lifetime. I dove in and haven't looked back and can't wait for the end results. I started WeightWatchers, a system I am familiar and most comfortable with. To date, I've lost 9lbs in the 3 weeks I've been on it. While it's obviously about losing weight, I'm also striving to become healthier in my food choices and the meals I prepare aside from just making sure I don't go over my points. I want to make sure Gracie grows up as healthy as she can also.


My ultimate goal is to lose a total of 106 pounds to get to the ideal healthy weight range for my age and height. I'm not putting too much stress on this particular date because I don't necessarily want to put a time limit on myself but for reasons I will soon explain, my "GOALIE" day to attain my goal weight is 02-18-15. Don't let me bore you with my math to explain how I got this date. I just did.


And now for my ultimate goal I hope to attain by mid-2015. It's been a dream of mine for too many years to not finally start working towards it. I want to travel to Tanzania and climb the country's tallest mountain at 19,341 feet - Mount Kilimanjaro.

I want to do this not only for me but for Gracie as well, or anyone for that matter. I want to prove to her that you can do anything you put your mind to. She's already got an adventurous spirit. It didn't take me long to figure that out when she watched me dive with whale sharks a few years back. She was 3 at the time and now 5 and to this day, she says she's going to swim with whale sharks like Mommy when she gets older. Just the other night, she pulled the DVD out and wanted to watch it. My sweet baby she is. But it's that spirit that I want to feed rather than starve, for the both of us.

So, feel free to follow me on this journey. I will keep you updated on my progress and look forward to all that the future holds, especially being able to get back into my shoe closet full of heels that I haven't been able to wear in way too long! There's a little black Victoria's Secret dress that's just screaming my name for some attention too!


Once I get to my halfway point in my weight loss goal, which will hopefully be at some point this summer, I intend to start training for the actual climb. Please feel free to leave me some love or encouragement. This isn't going to be easy because, ya'll I love food! You just don't know! But I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do this!

               It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.

                                                          - Sir Edmund Hillary

This journey is going to prove that, both figuratively and literally.

***It should be noted that, though I was in a dark place for most of 2013, thankfully the thing that suffered the most was my weight. I'm happy to say that mine and Gary's marriage is stronger than ever as well as our finances (just paid off several cards!!!), my mom is cancer free, and we have a very healthy 5 year old running around. It's all because my GOD is stronger than all of those combined!